im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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