I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Randomize
