i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
