It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
