Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
