with your own penis?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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