Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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