i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
