i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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