Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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