I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
