I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
