I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
How's work?
Spinning.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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