Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
