If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
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