my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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