White coat. Heels.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
he was CRYING into my vagina
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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