Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Randomize
