I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
