he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
