Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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