Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Can Purell be used as lube?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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