There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
