Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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