I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
