why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
