don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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