Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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