I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
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