my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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