You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
