i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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