Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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