he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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