I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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