It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
