she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
