apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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