this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
