it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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