I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
