Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
