so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize