Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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