i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
