she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
