dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
