I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
We had sex on a dog bed..
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
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