i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
