she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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