OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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