Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
