I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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