we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize