You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
