My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
