Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
