she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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