One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
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