Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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