was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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