I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
